I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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