You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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