I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
