bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
