we have pet lesbian snakes
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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