If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
