then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
birth control should be required to get into college
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
