he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this boner is exhausting
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We talked him into tasing himself.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
