mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
