I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
