Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
did you just send me my own nude
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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