I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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