Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
