just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
