Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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