your thong is hanging out like whoa
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
