is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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