scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
