She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
