Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just high enough for therapy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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