Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Randomize
