she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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