yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
