once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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