My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
porn star boner night. come get it.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
