well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
