I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
