Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
