You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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