Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
