we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
