it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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