he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
They are going to name an STD after you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
