I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
