Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
