you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
