Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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