Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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