You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
