unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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