Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
