Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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