It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
