He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
