Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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