I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You were trust falling into bushes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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