Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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