i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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