you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
