does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
